failure.

I started this blog to occupy my time and to share my life with the world. I know I don’t really ever say much thats super private, but I think you deserve to know why I started, posted twice a week, dedicated my free time to blogging, photographing, and whatever else I was doing, but all while I was trying to distract myself I happened upon the job that saved my life. LITERALLY. As you know [or will now know] I have anxiety, depression, and OCD. cute. Lots of diagnosed, “disorders” and they really get in the way of a normal life sometimes. but what really is normal. ME. I’m normal. Sometimes ab-normal, sometimes kinda normal, and sometimes not at all normal, but regardless.. here I am living life just like the rest of you.

My mom came to visit me here in the [sort of] north.. which is really more like the middle of the lower peninsula of Michigan [aka the greatest state that ever was]. And we hopped around town and happened upon a place that was hiring. A place that was RIGHT up my alley. A Bakery. YEP. I am now going by the title; small business owner, sometimes blogger, cat mom, bullet journal novice, wife, graphic designer, cake & cookie decorator extraordinaire. YES. I KNOW. pretty exciting right. SO I’ve been busy working OUT OF MY HOUSE, making friends, BEING IN THE REAL WORLD, WITH HUMANS. FULL TIME. Like, not sitting around feeling sorry for myself and hiding behind a computer. Its been the best thing that I could have asked for I think, and I wasn’t even searching for it. It just happened.

SO, now I look back on this blog I started about a year ago with less than 100 followers, probs ZERO people even care, but I DO. and I failed. I just kind of abandoned it. I wish I could have posted like, once a week, or two weeks, or even a month. I didn’t fall out of love with my blog, I just fell in love with something else, more. sorry. forgive me? I’ll be back now and then, with really fun content. I PROMISE. kisses.

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Lyin’ cold on the bathroom floor

Lyin’ cold on the bathroom floor cause she’s sick AF. IDK whats wrong with me. I swear every time I go in public I end up with some disgusting bug. [maybe not every time, but too often.] Last night I spent too many hours over the porcelain throne. Probs not what you wanted to hear, but today I’m slightly recovered. I hate half a bagel & 4 sips of gatorade and we’re making progress.

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[shoes pictured are Steve Madden Mules. I bought mine on www.stevemadden.com but I’ve also seen them on DSW. Idk if they are still available or not. sorry.]

Basically all that this sickness reminded me that I didn’t swiffer my bathroom floor yesterday. Does anyone else with a wild beast [aka super furry cat] need to sweep everyday? Does anyone just cry and wish their mom was there to take care of them when they are sick? Cause, Same. Sorry if you read this and thought it sucked, cause today sucks for me too. No Kisses today. Trying not to infect ya.

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Cha, Cha, Cha Changes

IMG_8684Here we are, [kinda] getting some sight of spring, and so not only did I decide to spring clean my home & paint my small bathroom.. I decided it was about time for a hair change. I loved my pastel pink and purple princess vibes, but now that I’m approaching 30 faster than ever, I decided I should spring clean the color & leave it behind. It’s a lot of work to keep up with, and I can’t do anything for too long and I had color that doesn’t grow out of my head [or anyone’s rather] since August.

I wasn’t sure where this new vibe would take me, but as I sat in the chair.. my wonderful hair dresser Cindi, knew I was coming in with a plan.

IMG_8683This is exactly what I look like in public. Bomber jacket. T shirt. Jeans. I’m very fashionable. I know. Side note: If you find any cool pins I can add to this jacket, please let me know cause I’m always on the hunt & I change them each season. The snowflake, has GOT TO GO. BYE [insert peace sign here].

Just like my hair I have bright and shiny days, and then frizzy chaotic wild days where nothing goes right. As I age, I was given the whole laundry list of [mental health disorders]. I really don’t like to think of myself as a disorder, but rather.. just different. Yesterday was sunny and [semi] warm. Today is cold & rainy. I don’t care what anyone says, the weather 100% effects my mood. I know this paragraph has nothing to do with my hair, but sometimes you just have to say what comes up, and my mind never stops and is always thinking about something. Mostly unrelated to whats actually happening. Now a certain human can’t comment on my “trashy purple hair” anymore. Cause, obvs. I do my hair to please you. [eye roll]. ANYWAY. Here’s the [new] me. Shiny. Fresh. Chic.

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Hello Spring. As per usual wearing Stila Stay All Day liquid lipstick in “Baci”

Kisses.

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Coloring for Adults – Relaxation

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Does anyone find themselves overly stressed, full of anxiety, and no time for themselves?  It might sound silly, you might think coloring is for kids… but its not. its for everyone. And its so good for you. I’m no scientist, just an avid article reader, but coloring engages a part of the brain called the cerebral cortex & relaxes the fear center of the brain. The cerebral cortex is the largest part of the brain & is associated with higher brain function  including your thoughts and actions. So treating it well is good. GREAT for you. Cool, right? It can relieve so much anxiety – especially when you have a weekend full of your in-laws coming to stay. Color the three days before instead of fretting over the things they aren’t going to eat & color before your huge presentation to your boss, before your next job interview, after your rough day at work. Really anytime.

I’ve struggled with anxiety and a laundry list of other mental disorders categorized by someone with a higher education than I, so I suppose I could believe them. After a number of medications, years of therapy, and trying everything under the sun to diet changes, using oils and all sorts of things.. I found the most helpful thing for an anxiety free afternoon is, coloring. I find that getting lost in a simple drawing, and picking colors, and the ease of thought that goes into coloring, my mind finds itself elsewhere. Being more creative, in my writing – in my average life, in dinners even. I find everything a bit simpler, easier, more care free, when I colored for an hour the night before.

Its just such a simple thing you can do. I found myself so much more depressed before I started regularly coloring. I love to use colored pencils. My favorite are prismacolor [and really the only kind worth anything if you ask me ] & you can find them at your local Michaels, Walmart, JoAnn’s, BLICK, and even Target. Check out their site –>[prismacolor]

My favorite books are:

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Enchanted Forest – Found at Barnes & Nobles – Buy it HERE.

 

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Creative Cats – Found at Michael’s – Buy it HERE.

 

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Alice’s Adventures – I found mine at Target, but you can buy it on Amazon HERE.

You can really find great ones anywhere. Especially if you are into a certain type. I have about 6 Alice books in my collection. I also love to color flowers. Michael’s has several flower books in their store. Get yourself a couple different ones & some nice coloring pencils/sharpie markers/etc. & get anxiety free. Kisses.

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Nostalgic AF

I opened my Macbook Pro from college. [ I graduated in 2011 & it was a year or so old at that point ] SO SHE’S ANCIENT. It works like 99%. The trackpad doesn’t drag & drop anything. Super Weird. This afternoon I decided I’d put all 103,876 files onto my external hard drive. I’m also dumping my waterproof camera pics on the external & my Nikon.

It’s super fun seeing old photos. The whole point was to find some bridal shower & rehearsal dinner & candid wedding photos… [Married May 2015] So, its not too far back, but with the amount of photos I take…. It’s overwhelming. I have promised my mom for long over a month I’d gather the photos for her… I just knew it was going to be a daunting task.. So, I avoided it until today. I worked out & instead of hopping in the shower, I find myself now, 2 hours later, on the floor, of my office, looking through pictures from 2010 to now. Some probably even earlier than that.

The internet is kinda cool cause it can keep that stuff for you.. but I’m so private on Facebook I NEVER post anything about what I’m doing and where I am. I think its 1. Super creepy 2. Boasting about life… and idk if you need to tell everyone you’re “having so much fun” you probably are not. I don’t have time to tell people i’m having fun… when I actually am. I’ll usually end up with 100’s of pictures from the night, and MAYBE 10 that are actually really great.

This day in age we’re so plugged into our phones, and as a “millennial” we get so much crap for being “lazy” & “glued into technology” but every job I’ve worked the 40-50 somethings spend 80% of work hours on social media & looking for houses they can’t afford, and who the Kardashian’s are dating. About 20% of their day is doing work, or like eating at their desk which isn’t really work. While I do my job & theirs. End rant. You get it.

We’re the most educated generation in history, being paid under our worth, & having zillions of dollars of debt that we accumulate to get that higher education, for that greater job, when we spend all our grand earnings paying off debt for 10 years. And wait to have children because daycare is outrageous, & diapers, & things babies need.. & then they eventually become teenagers, which are mean & expensive. I know, I was one… half my life ago.

I’m sorry this ended up being a rant and it was supposed to be about pictures. Forgive me? Kisses.

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